Heero Yuy and Co In Historical Hysterics
by Auto The Frogster
Summary: A *Hilarious* fic done by my friend! Heero and co. are trapped in a museum and they must find out.. who's the mummy? Among other things, of course.. **Highly recommended read! =^.^= Neko approved. **


A fanfic not written by me, but written by my friend Krine

A fanfic not written by me, but written by my friend Krine! Cussing and some character bashing, but it's complete humor, and nothing too bad! I *love* the way he writes Heero.. Recommended read!!

Heero Yuy and Co In Historical Hysterics

By: Krine Himitsu

aka

Paul Padilla

padilla_paul@hotmail.com

A note about Duo and Hilde- In most other fics I've read, they're seen as either slapping each other, or making out, and nothing in between, which is a pretty accurate view of what a couple their age would be like. Hence, I'm sticking with that. Sorry. Semi-graphic violence, swearing, and even a hint of romance ahead. I'd rate this PG-13, because, as we all know, kids shoot each other when they hear the word "fuck."

Heero wakes up from a nice long nap (he never REALLY sleeps, you know) at the sound of the phone ringing. On the phone, is Quatre, with Duo in the background. (Duo works at a junk yard, he bums a night at Quatre's place as often as possible.) Of course, the first words out of Heero's mouth are,"First off, I'm going to kill you. Second, I'm going to kill you. Third, what the hell do you want?" 

"Heero, you sound like you woke up. That means you were asleep. What the happened?" Quatre inquires.

Heero doesn't respond. Instead, he pulls out his gun (he's never more than 2 feet from it) and shoots up into the air, and screams in a really bad acting voice,"Oh my god, I've been shot. I'll have to call you later, Quatre, I have to sit here and bleed now."

"...Goodnight Heero.*click*" Heero sighs and lies back down on his couch. Two seconds later, the phone rings again. Blearilly he picks it up, and hears "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-" "I hate you." *click* Three seconds later, phone rings again. He lets it ring a few dozen times, since he *really* doesn't want to hear the rest of it. Eventually, his patience ends and he picks up the phone. "-roooooooooo!" 

"I give up. There is no god." 

"Very funny, Heero. I need you to take me to the mall today, since my chauffeur saw me naked in the shower and had a heart attack." 

"But why? Why me? Why not have that pussy-whipped Quatre take you? WHY, KAMI, WHYYYYYY!!!" 

"I'm glad you brought up Quatre. Quatre, Dorothy, Duo, and Hilde are all going to the local Museum with us after we're done at the mall. OK?" 

"No." 

"Good! Pick me up in 15 minutes. I love you." 

"I wish you'd die." *click*s abound. Since Heero decides to study Relena's schedule to better plot an assassination(at least, that's his excuse), he gets up, puts on his spandex-shorts and tank-top (regardless of the 20-degrees-below temperature outside) and grabs his keys.

15 quick minutes pass as Heero grimly drives to Relena's place. Upon arrival, Relena is waiting for him outside of her perfect-in-pink mansion with an obscenely wide smile on her face. Heero grimaces, and honks the horn to signal to her, even though she's already coming. Relena gets in the car and says "Hi, Heero, my loving and perfect soldier of complete and utter destruction." 

This makes Heero smile a bit. But only at the "complete and utter destruction" part. He then realizes that Relena's still there, and considers running into a tree. Instead, he speeds off in the direction of the mall, doing about 60 over the speed limit at any given time. A matter of minutes later, and they're at the mall. Once inside, they immediately part company, Relena at the numerous clothing stores on the second floor, and Heero at the arcade playing various gun games on the first floor.

An hour or so later, Relena emerges from one of the various clothing stores. She finds herself near a guard-rail overlooking a good portion of the first floor. She drops her bags full of new clothes, leans forward slightly, holds her hands to her chest, stares at nothing in particular and shouts, "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeerooooooooooo!" in an overly dramatic kind of way. 

Meanwhile, Heero is blasting away at zombies in the gun game he's playing, one fake gun in each hand, and he suddenly hears his name being called. He turns away startled, and the game is immediately irrelevent to the story. He drops the fake guns, puts one hand on his face, and mutters "please, god, don't let it be what I think it is." 

He walks out of the arcade calmly, only to hear Relena go "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroooooooooooooo!" once again. Instead of maintaining his calm and finding her while she bellows, he shouts back "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat biiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch?!" This causes several people to stop. 

Relena shouts one last time, "Heero, come and get meeeee!" Heero sighs and covers his hands with his face. 

"Let me get some damn nachos first!" he shouts. He quickly goes to the local nacho stand, buys some nachos and cheese, locates Relena on the second floor, and gets the hell out of there before she does something stupid again.

Inside the car, they start speeding towards the main road. "Heero, we need to pick up Quatre and Duo at Quatre's house. You know where that is, right?" Relena says, then asks, in rapid succession. 

"Yes, Relena. I know where the wuss and the boy from hell are. I'll be there in a matter of minutes. Now NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN." 

Relena giggles, slaps Heero's arm lightly and says "You're so silly." Heero simply turns on the radio and tries to forget that Relena's probably going to pester him for the rest of his natural life. He considers running into a tree. Again.

A couple minutes later, Heero and Relena arrive at Quatre's pretty-in-pink mansion. ("It's only that color becase I have around 300 sisters living here, Duo. Now leave me alone about it.") Heero honks again, signaling the new arrivals, even as they're already coming out. Wait, no, only Quatre and Dorothy are on their way. As soon as Quatre gets to the car, Heero asks him, "Why do you need ME to drive you? And where's the demon boy and his lover?"

Quatre replies "Well, I never had either a car or a chauffeur. And I could've sworn that Duo and Hilde were right behind me a minute ago." 

"Oh well, they're not coming, we'll just have to leave without them, QUATRE, GET IN THE DAMN CAR!" Quatre gets about halfway seated in the back on one side and Dorothy gets about as far when Heero starts to take off. "Ha ha ha... One less annoying idiot to parade around with! Yes!" Suddenly...

"**_KAMIKAZEEEEEEEEEE!"_**

Duo dives onto the front of the car with Hilde running behind him shouting "What are you doing, you crazy idiot?!"

Heero considers for a moment, then decides that Duo has a higher likelihood of breaking bones if he gets thrown off the car going fifty, so he speeds up for a moment, then slams on the brakes. Duo flies off the hood like he were sliding on water, and crashes to the ground rolling. Heero simply laughs while Quatre jumps out of the car screaming "My god! Duo, are you OK?!" Heero also gets out to survey the damages. 

They all gather around him, and he doesn't look like he's moving. Suddenly, he pops up with a huge demented smile on his face and says "THAT was COOL!" 

Heero puts his face to his hand, sighs, then asks the obvious. "My car only seats five. There are six of us here. We have to do something about it. I vote we lock Relena in the trunk." 

Duo immediately pipes up and says "I'll ride on the hood!" 

Hilde slaps him and says "I'll just sit on Duo's lap for the trip." 

Quatre says "Wait, I think I have a motorcycle in my garage. I'll ride it." Quatre runs to the garage, and wheels back an old motorcycle with the word 'Fonzarelli' on the side. 

"Quatre, what's a Fonzarelli?" asks everyone and a half. 

Quatre modestly replies,"I'm not sure. I think it's some old star of some kind." 

Heero shrugs and says "The problem's solved. Let's go."

Dorothy goes to Quatre and says, "You know, on that bike, you'd look really good in a leather jacket." 

Quatre blushes, and everyone minus Quatre piles into the car, Heero in the drivers seat ("No Duo. I do not trust you enough to drive."), Relena in the passenger seat ("No Relena. You're already driving. Driving me INSANE."), Duo in the back driver's side seat ("Aw, come on! You never like it when I do cool things!" "FLIPPING THE CAR IS NOT COOL."), Dorothy in the middle-not-quite seat ("Dorothy, keep them seperate. I just washed the upholstery."), and Hilde in the back passenger's side seat ("Hilde, keep Duo under control and away from my nerves."). As they leave, Quatre follows them on his 'Fonzarelli' bike.

20 to 30 minutes later, depending on how quickly you read, they find themselves in the parking lot of the museum. They exit the vehicles, and Duo calls shotgun on the way back. Heero mutters about giving him a shotgun to the head, but that goes unheard. 

As they walk towards the entrance, they spot a familiar looking car. "Hey, isn't that Trowa's car?" Quatre asks, stating the obvious at the same time. 

"Well of COURSE Trowa's here. Why wouldn't he be here? Everyone else that I can't stand is here." Heero, of course. He doesn't admit it, but Trowa's one of the few people that he can, in fact, stand to be around, because Trowa is 1. as violent and skilled as him in killing people and 2. very, very quiet. 

"Maybe we'll see him in the museum," says and thinks everyone and five-ninths. They walk into the lobby, and lo and behold, there stand both Trowa and Wufei near the ticket seller. 

"What are you doing in here? Why aren't you inside looking at the stupid crap?" queries Heero, who is actually only half-way concerned. 

"Well," Trowa starts, "we would be in and looking at the 'stupid crap,' but neither of us brought a wallet." 

Trowa glances at Wufei, who pipes up, saying "I never carry a wallet. I don't know why he expected me to have one when he didn't have his." 

Dorothy decides she doesn't want Wufei screaming about injustice, so she says, "Here. I'll buy your tickets." Quatre immediately insists that he should pay for them, as he is an overly kind and stupidly polite bastard. At least, that's what Heero thinks. And maybe some others. In the end, they all buy tickets, and start wandering around the museum looking at the 'artifacts' and whatnot.

"What the hell IS this crap?!" Heero thinks aloud as they all pass the Cowardly Lion's costume. 

"Oh," Relena says, "this is the part of the museum that consists of movie and television memorabilia." 

"Ah. No wonder I have no goddamn idea what half of this crap is," Heero says in his perfectly level and boring tone. 

Dorothy is looking at something, and Quatre goes to join her. "What is that?" Quatre inquires. 

"It's the leather jacket of Fonzie Fonzarelli from the show Happy Days. Well, according to this thing, anyways," Dorothy responds. 

"Oh," Quatre interjects. "...I'd look like an ass-kicking machine in that thing." 

"Yes, yes you would," Dorothy replies, smiling. 

Meanwhile, Trowa and Wufei are looking at a still-life picture of a mime and a picture of Chairman Mao. But not respectively. 

"So, Trowa, why didn't you bring your sister, Catherine?" 

"She had to do the knife throwing bit, and we got someone to replace me in the act," Trowa answers. His mind suddenly flashes to the thought of some new guy standing in front of the big target board, saying "You're not going to hit me, right?" for the 20,000th time and his sister saying "NO! Now shut up, and don't move. You've got a bug above your right ear, let's see if I can get 'im..." She then dons a blindfold and throws the knife about 2 centimeters above his left ear, takes off the blindfold and says "Hey... that's not where I was aiming... hmmm..." just to scare the crap out of the poor sap. 

He flashes back to reality and decides to make stupid small-talk in response to the stupid small-talk given to him. "So, where's Sally? That is who you're staying with, isn't it?" 

"That stupid onna kicked me out 2 weeks ago. I've been living in a cockroach-laiden craphole for the whole time. I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY THAT STUPID WHINEY INSENSITIVE WEAK BITCH WOULD KICK ME OUT!" 

"Maybe because you said things like that right to her face all the time, and meant them." 

"...Shut up." Heero gathers everyone together and says "Are we all done looking here? Raise your stupid, filthy, unwashed, ANNOYING hands if you're not." 

Relena, Quatre, Hilde, and Wufei raise their hands. "What? We're all done here? Good. Then let's move on to the REAL historical artifacts." Wufei mumbles about something like stupid flock suppers, but goes on anyways.

"My god. A mummy. I haven't seen one of those at a museum since the last time I went to a museum anywhere else in the world," Heero remarks sarcastically as he and several others stare at a mummy with no name. The group edges away from the radio-active anti-socialness of Heero Yuy after this remark, and several decide to go look at other things. The rest of the pilot/female-counter-part crew are looking at various (fake) artifacts from the same general area and time period, such as King Tut's Toilet, King Tut's Watering Can, King Tut's Bed, and King Tut's Fonzie Jacket... minus, of course, the last one, which isn't there. 

After an hour or so of inane small talk, and staring at the replicated historical artifacts, the group gets together and decides to call it a day, when suddenly, all the lights are shut off, all the non-main characters vanish, and the Mummy disappears. The lights turn back on about 30 seconds later, and the cast discovers these facts. Heero, not giving a rat's ass about the mummy, tries the front door, only to find it locked. He tries desperately to open it (thinking of getting away from Relena, of course), but finds that the door is much too sturdy to by opened by force, and it's got a nice deadbolt lock, which is locked. 

He returns to the rest of the crew, sighs, then faces the fact that "We have to find the mummy and the guy with the key to get out, otherwise we won't be able to leave since there are no goddamn windows here. Love the engineers that made THIS building." They decide, in a Scooby-Doo-esque fashion, that if they split into multiple groups of two, that they'd be able to find things more quickly, so on so forth blah blah blah. Quatre and Dorothy, Duo and Hilde, and Trowa and Wufei quickly team up to not get stuck with Heero or Relena, which, of course, leaves them stuck with each other.

"Hey Duo, come check out the bathrooms with me for clues!" Hilde says running over to the bathrooms, which are conveniently not locked. 

"Oh yeah! God knows we might find some CLUES in the TOILETS AND SINKS," Duo replies in a Heero-like sarcasm. 

"No, Duo. Come CHECK OUT the BATHROOMS with ME," Hilde says. Duo, getting the message, quickly follows her into the bathroom, neatly taking both of them out of the story for a while.

Relena is chatting to Heero about stupid inane crap that he doesn't want to hear about, but mostly about how the mystery reminds her of the description of an old cartoon called "Scooby Doo" she read about in the Movie & TV History section of the museum. 

"Really, Relena. That's REALLY fascinating. No. Go on. Please. Maybe if you try hard enough, my brains will explode out my ears and I'll DIE. Then I won't have to listen to you." Take a wild guess who said that. (Hint: IT WAS HEERO.)

Trowa and Wufei are walking along, examining the various rooms, and find several large foot prints in the carpet. Wufei breaks the silence by trying a new joke he'd been thinking of for the last 3 weeks. "Knock knock." 

"Who's there." 

"Injustice." 

"Injustice who." 

"INJUSTICE!" 

"...That really sucked." 

"Did it?" 

"Yes. You've been reading too damn many fanfics about yourself and have gotten your own character stereotyped." 

"...Damn. I never thought of it that way. Let's try it like this. Knock knock." 

"Who's there." 

"Ima." 

"Ima who." 

"I'm a stupid weak insensitive bitch named Sally! Hah!" 

"...Let's concentrate on the footprints." They inspect the footprints for a while.

Quatre and Dorothy are walking along, searching the TV/Movie Memorabilia for clues, when suddenly, the mummy jumps out from behind Mad Max's weapons collection! (It's a pretty big display, folks.) Quatre immediately tells Dorothy to run while he stalls the mummy. Dorothy runs off to get help (presumably from Heero, since it's a well-known fact that he's ALWAYS armed), and Quatre does his best to block the mummy, football style. 

Well, Quatre's a bit too small to be doing that, and ends up getting knocked backwards quite a bit. The mummy decides to not exert himself too much, and flicks Quatre in the nose, making him stumble backwards another foot or so. He then pokes Quatre's eyes, and kicks him in the shin, making him fall to the floor. Quatre stands up, and realizes that he's pretty much doomed unless he actually fights the guy. 

"I don't want to hurt you. I really don't," Quatre says as he hits the mummy as hard as he can in the gut, which quite surprises him and knocks the breath out of him for a moment. The mummy gets over this, growls, then hits Quatre hard in the nose, sending him stumbling back, as it's been a while since Quatre has needed to be in a good fighting stance. The mummy catches up to him and hits him again in the face, this time sending him right through a glass display case...

And right into the Jacket of the Fonz!

His arms slip right in as he falls backwards in the the jacket, then he plops to the floor on his hind. The mummy goes over to see if he can finish him off, when Quatre's new jacket starts to glow strangely. Suddenly, Quatre's hair is really greased up and slicked back. He stands up, pulls out his "Sunday" comb, and brushes it through his hair, not really doing anything but making him look cooler. Suddenly he jerks his hand in front of him palm out in the classic "stop" style and says "Woah." He then raises his left fist, thumb out, and says "Watch my left thumb for a minute." The mummy, being completely stupified, does so while Quatre winds up a huge right and belts the mummy a new face-hole. 

The mummy flies backwards, and lands on his ass. At that moment, Dorothy, Trowa, Wufei, Relena, and yes, even Heero, comes into the room. The mummy stands back up, getting his senses, and runs off before Heero can pull out his gun and shoot him. Quatre lets him go, then jerks his thumbs into the air and says " 'Eeeeeey." 

At that, Dorothy passes out. Heero convinces him to put the jacket back, after which he turns completely back to normal. Except for his hair, which is still greasy and hard as a brick.

A couple of fluid ounces of cold water later, Dorothy is standing up gawking at Quatre's hair. "Wow, Quatre... Did you really knock the mummy flat on his ass?" everyone and two-quarters minus seven-eights and a third asks. 

Quatre puts his left hand on the back of his head, looks at the floor and says, "Yeah, I guess so." 

Everyone but Heero and Wufei goes "Wow, cool, good job Quatre," and other brown-nosing comments. Heero simply doesn't care, and Wufei is busy thinking of ways to get back (at?) Sally.

Suddenly, Duo and Hilde come running from the direction of the bathrooms, pulling up pants and buttoning shirts while running towards the group, while shouting "Hey! We found something! We found something!" 

Dumbstruck, everyone and half a ninth asks "You actually FOUND A CLUE in the BATHROOMS?!" 

To this, Duo responds "Yeah! It's the craziest thing. Written on the ceiling in perfect cursive were the words 'I, the guy with the keys, who may or may not be the museum director, am dressed as the mummy and am trying to kill the eight people running around like chickens with their heads cut off while I do evil things, like plot the downfall of capitalism, commit terrorist acts, and steal candy from small children.' Isn't it crazy? Wonder what it means." 

Anime style sweatdrops appear on several heads, while Heero and Wufei just say "Baka." For the l33t, that's b4k4. Or 84|4. All depends on how you look at it.

Returning to the story, the group attempts to formulate a plan to 'trap' the mummy, and reveal who it is. 

"How about I shoot him?" asks Heero, who would just LOVE to shoot something right about now. 

To this, Duo responds "No! I've got a better idea." He then lays out a plan consisting of having the Mummy chase Relena and Hilde into a room with a greased floor, where he would then slide into a trampoline, which would bounce him into a pile of hay, which would then move through a hay-bailing machine, and spew him out onto the floor, which would immediately break, revealing a bed of burning spikes and impale him.

"Duo, you are the biggest idiot I have ever known, and I know a lot of idiots. You deserve this award." From nowhere, Heero pulls out a golden trophy that reads "I'm a fucking moron!" and has a guy that looks incredibly stupid on it and hands it to Duo. 

Duo sniffles. "You love me, you really love me." 

Heero and Wufei both say "No, I hate you, I really hate you."

Of course, that's not what REALLY happened. Let me start again.

Heero wakes up from a nice long nap (he never REALLY sleeps, you know) at the sound of the phone ringing...

Nah. I'm too lazy to start over Let's just say the paragraph above "Of course, that's not what REALLY happened. Let me start again." didn't happen, and move on.

Heero looks at Duo with a "Duo, you are the biggest idiot I have ever known, and I know a lot of idiots" look on his face. 

"Duo, just what ARE you smoking?" asks several and three fourths minus eight sixteenths of the group members. Yes, that does add up to several and a fourth. Not that it's important. 

Duo looks inquisitive while asking "What's wrong with my plan?" 

Trowa steps forth with the following reply. "First off, we don't have half the things involved, and second, we don't have the OTHER half of the things involved. And we couldn't rig the floor to break with burning spikes below in time anyways. Other than that, nothing." 

Duo looks sad a moment. "But it works on Scooby Doo..." 

Trowa gets the group's attention by talking almost twice in a row, saying "Well, we found some footprints in the other room. That might indicate something. They also vanished into a wall, indicating a secret passage. Or someone with dirty feet that walked into a wall. I'm leaning towards the second one, since it won't make us search the room if we believe it." Heero says "All in favor of not searching the room with the person who walked into the wall's footprints, say 'Aye' or something similar." Seven aye's, one 'nay'. "Good enough. Not let's cap some undead ass." Heero whips out his pistol and twirls it with style. He then kisses it, rubs it lovingly and says quietly "10 mm, you are my best friend." He then looks mildly surprised to find everyone staring at him with a worried look on their faces. "...WHAT?" he asks impatiently. Several cough, while the rest just say "Nothing. Never mind."

Then the author learned that paragraphs are a good thing.

They move out, with Heero at point, all holding big heavy things to whack the 'mummy' with. Soon enough, the mummy jumps out at them with a growl, then sees that they're heavily armed for a group of unarmed people, says "Uh oh.", then starts to run. 

"AFTER HIM!" shouts Heero, Wufei, and nine tenths of Duo. He said it in lower case. Thus, they all start running after the mummy, catch up to him, and bludgeon him until he falls down. Not very dramatic, but hey, this isn't Scooby Doo here. 

Duo, taking the initiative of the fallen mummy's situation, says "Now let's find out who the mummy REALLY is!" 

They pull off the mummy mask to find... "Zechs Merquise?!" says everyone minus Heero, surprised. 

Heero steps forward and says "You idiots, that's not REALLY Zechs Marquise." He pulls off Zechs' Mask of Shame, revealing who the mummy REALLY was. "Milliardo Peacecraft?!" says everyone minus Heero, who is still not surprised, unlike eveyone else. 

Milliardo says "Yes, you dumbasses, it's ME! What, there were only three major characters left out, one of them's dead, and the other's a hero! Who the hell did you THINK it was? Sally?!"

Suddenly, Wufei steps forward and says "Wait! That's not REALLY Milliardo Peacecraft!" He takes the Milliardo Peacecraft mask off the 'mummy', revealing it to be... "Sally Po?!" says everyone minus Wufei, surprised. 

"THAT was unexpected." Heero says. 

"Ah HAH! I knew you were up to something, onna!" says the ever lovable Wufei. 

"But Wufei, I just wanted to tell you, that despite everything you said, and I did, I still love you!" cries Sally. 

"Shut up bitch, you're the villain, and you're going to jail," says the surprisingly firm Hilde.

Heero sighs, and says "Look. If you give me the keys to get out of here and away from these people, I'll convince them not to arrest you." 

Not wanting to go to jail, Sally gives the keys to Heero. "Thank you," Heero says, then turns to the rest. 

"Now, we're not going to have Sally arrested." 

"Why?" asks everyone and twelve fifths. 

"That's a good question." Heero produces a black board and some chalk, puts on a pair of glasses, and assumes a 'teacher' look. He scrawls on the board while explaining in detail that Sally is a main character and can't be arrested anyway, and that this is a humor fic. When all is said and done, the board reads...

Because I said so.

"Any questions?" Heero asks. Nobody answers. "Good." Heero removes his glasses, shoves the black board out of the story. 

Duo pipes up and says "Are we leaving now?" 

Heero quickly replies "YES! GOD YES!" before anyone, Relena included, can get another word out. 

Quatre remembers something and says "But wait, what about the writing on the bathroom ceilings?" 

Suddenly, a mysterious figure who is in the shadows says "I can answer that." Stepping out of the shadows, the figure reveals himself as a no-named museum manager that wasn't in the story yet, but was a key character anyways. 

"You see," he begins, "when I found out that the mummy was running around being alive after what should've been a few several thousand years of being dead, I figured 'Hey, that's probably not normal.' I then went to the bathroom and wrote the words on the ceiling in hopes that some adventuresome people would catch him and reveal him as who he really is." 

"But he's a her," everyone minus two eights plus five ninths minus the solar system plus seventeen bad running jokes and three overused puns states. 

"Yes, well, I don't give a rat's ass," replies the unnamed manager. 

"...Anyway. Let's get the hell out of here before someone else does something stupid," says the omnipotent omniscient omnivore that IS Heero Yuy.

They all head out to the parking lot, where two cars and a motorcycle are waiting. Suddenly, ... oh who haven't I used for a while... uh... Relena! yes, Relena remembers something and asks "Wait, what happened to all the other people that were looking at the stuff with us, Sally?" 

To this Sally replies "Don't worry. They just left the story when the lights went out." 

Suddenly, a crashing sound is heard from the museum, and the unnamed manager comes out and shouts, "You bastards! You broke my fourth wall! You're going to have to pay for that!" then goes back in and removes himself from the story completely. 

"That was somewhat interesting," says the unfathomable Yuy. Heero then directs everyone into Sally's car, minus Quatre who has to get his motorcycle home, and also minus Relena, who simply MUST ride with him. 

"See ya later, everyone!" Relena says as she gets into the passenger seat of Heero's ride.

Well on their way back home, Relena decides to pester Heero some more and asks "Well Heero, did you enjoy the trip to the museum?" 

Instead of responding, Heero aims for a very distant tree, and slams the gas to the floor. He then says, "Relena, you have about 20 seconds to remind me why I put up with you before we both die. Starting now. Give me your argument." Relena thinks for a moment, then leans over and kisses Heero on the cheek sweetly. Heero sits stunned for a few seconds, then swerves to miss the tree and stay on the road after regaining his senses. 

"Oh yeah. That's right," Heero says, smiling a bit. They drive off into the sunset. "Damnit, the sun's RIGHT in my eyes. I wish this crap would fade out already."

Right on cue (he's got a gun, what am I supposed to do?), everything fades to blue. "Very funny smartass." The blue then fades out completely, credits roll, and the last of the popcorn is eaten.

The End...?

"Yes it's the end. Don't even THINK about making another fanfic, you shit eater."

Yes sir.


End file.
